We're BACK ...

We are back in Regina! Back to the flat lands, snow and minus temperatures!

The trip across Canada was excellent and we had no major problems. Max was a real trooper and excellent traveller. Much better than me. I had to stop more times for a pee break than Max!

We are in the house in Regina and waiting for furniture which should arrive next Monday.

For some reason, I am just angry and I don't know why. It is probably because moving is stressful and I should feel some anger. Maybe because when we arrived at the house, there was an envelop waiting for me. When I opened it up, it was from the Allan Blair Cancer Clinic in Regina. This information surprised me and shocked me at the same time. This monster just won't leave me alone! Also during the trip, I received a call from the Cancer Clinic and I have an appointment on December 13th in Regina.

I just wanted this problem to go away! And it is not.

I am planning on going to a meeting tomorrow morning. I am sure that will help.

It could be me ...

I am currently staying at my daughter and favorite son-in-laws place in Ottawa. They live in Elm Vale Acres and it is quite nice. It seems to be a preppy place to live and is close to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).

As has been the routine over the past months, Max takes me out for a walk and a poop every morning (please note, Max does the pooping). Yesterday and today, we have been walking in a nice park close to CHEO. There are small islands of weeping willow and birch within the grassy knolls of the park. The treed islands make perfect hiding places if your had a game of hide and seek "going on" during a family picnic.

As I walked by one of these hiding places yesterday, I looked in and what a mess; can's (easy opening cans of cat food and Chef Boyardee), bottles and other miscellaneous garbage. The litter was spread out in a circular pattern, with a clear spot in the center. I then realized this was someones home! My first reaction was to retreat and deny I knew anything about this place.

This morning, Max took me back to the same park and the same hiding place. As I walked by I looked into the clump of beautiful trees to see if anyone was home. It is minus 3 C today and it is too cold to be outside. The tenant was gone but not the mess. I looked on the ground and found a doctors prescription for Ran-Fentanyl 100mcg dated on September 11, 2007. There was a name; David N. This is a prescription that is used to help addicts recover from addiction. It is also used to help with pain related situations due to medical operations and/or accidents.

As I looked at the package two things occurred to me; (1) I am sure David's problem was not related to an medical operation and (2) David's name could just as easily be Harvey. The reason, I make this statement is because I would have chosen this treed island for my home if I had no place to go.

I think I will find a meeting to go in Ottawa; later today or tomorrow morning. Maybe I will see David and if I don't, I will be there for him and hope he finds a recovery room soon.

My Dustin ... The Top Ten!

I am blogging today from Ottawa, from Winter, Justin and Boh's place. We are on are way back to Regina; the move back to the flat land has finally arrived. We drove all day yesterday and arrived in Ottawa at 9:30 pm AST. The weather was wet but no snow. That was GREAT as 'My Dustin" would say.

On Tuesday, November 13, the packers arrived and moved "stuff" into boxes and on Wednesday, the movers arrived and moved all the boxes into the transport truck. "A" and I cleaned like crazy and at 6:30 pm we were finished. In the cover of darkness, we decided to start of journey back to Saskatchewan. For me it was important we left on November 14 because it is a special day. It is "My Dustin's" birthday and I wanted to remember our departure from our Dartmouth home on a special day. So we did; we drove in the night and stayed in Amherst that evening.

'"A" and I called our Dustin from Amherst. He turned 7. He was GREAT and I can't wait to see him in a week. We are going to start our sleep over parties again. When I talk to Dustin, I always ask him who he is; I always want him to say that he is Gido's Dustin. Not because he is my favorite; I just want him to know that he is loved by me. He always will be no matter what. He will always be Gido's Dustin!

We wished him a Happy Birthday and told him we loved him. Dustin these are the Top 10 things I admire and love about you:

10. Dustin, you have a GREAT sense of humor!

9. Dustin, I want to thank you for coming to the hospital this past April (2007) to help Grandma take me home after my surgery.

8. Dustin, thank you for playing "I Spy" with me during your sleep overs!

7. Dustin, thanks for sitting on my lap when I was working on the Nova Scotia business model in 2001 and 2002. You always helped me remember what was (and is) important in my life!

6. Dustin, thank you for being so smart. I never knew a 3 year old that could do math like you. Even I forget the answer to 46 plus 5!

5. Dustin, thank you for helping me make Grandma's birthday cakes on February 25th during the past 2 years. They always turn out GREAT!

4. Dustin, thank you for being such a good brother to Demetrius and Aaliyah!

3. Dustin when you came to Nova Scotia during the summer of 2004 and stayed with Grandma and me, you did something very special. You turned our house on 40 Lakeview Ave. in dartmouth, into a home. When you told Grandma and me that you were "so happy", you made us cry inside!

2. Dustin is my first grandson to "carry" my Dad's last name. Super Gido was proud of that and so am I.

1. Dustin, thank you for coming to visit me on August 24th, 2001 ... it was a VERY GOOD DAY!

Can't wait to see you next Friday.

Your Gido.

Twitching to Leave

Well this will be my last official weekend living in Nova Scotia. I am sad and happy at the same time. The past 4 1/2 years have been quite an adventure and I am more fortunate than most to have been given the opportunity to be part of a project that engineers sometimes dream of. Building "things" are a lot of fun and I have been part of a great team! It will be hard to match the friendships and talent that I have been part of.

As I mentioned many times, I also feel grateful to have gotten sick in Nova Scotia. Getting cancer certainly is not much fun and I don't recommend it to anyone. But as someone asked me the other day "What disease do you want to have?". This was an interesting question and made me think of how lucky I probably am. I have been Graced with a Power to deal with 2 illnesses; alcoholism and cancer. When I was young, I never dreamt this would happen to me but they have. I don't believe for a second that God gave them to me. I think this is part of life's odds and a roll of the dice of the human gene pool. What I have been given through is the opportunity to match my will with God's Will. I am not perfect in doing this because many times I have attempted force the outcome of my life's path. Sometimes it has worked.

A good example is when I went to university; I thought I was the one who got the degree and it is somewhat true. I did do the homework, however, I was just polishing the gift I was given by God. Sometimes I tried to control my kids but you know how that goes? Not well most of the time.

Therefore, during the past few months, I have had lots of time to reflect on the past, speculate into the future and most of all enjoy the present. I am ready to leave. I am ready to begin then new chapter of my life which I hope will last for a long time to come.

Thank you Nova Scotia.

Another "Goose Egg" - A great Gift for November 9th

Well I had a great experience yesterday; another undetectable ("goose egg") PSA outcome! This is the best news I could receive. Despite some of the radiation side effects I am experiencing, it appears the radical surgery and radiation may be successful. I will need a few more PSA tests in to confirm all those nasty cells are gone. Next PSA will be in Regina in 3 months.

Other events that were interesting yesterday were my final thank-yous to two men who have been instrumental in my life. They are the two Urologists who expedited and performed the prostatectomy on me in April; Dr. R and Dr. B. I wanted to thank them and their staff for their "life saving" efforts. (If there is anyone who wants to know their real names, please e-mail me at hfedyk@hotmail.com and I would be happy to provide more details).

I had an appointment with one doctor but not the other but I wanted to thank both of them. It is wonderful how "Special Coincidences" happen. I decided to drop off two bags of Life Saver (candies) at Dr. B's office yesterday. I did not have an appointment with him but I really hoped I would "bump" into him. And magically I did! I waited in line to talk to his assistant. I was thanking her for her hard work in arranging the tests I had to go through and as I was asking her to pass on the card and Life Savers to her boss, guess who walked around the corner ... the good Dr. B. It was "Perfect Timing". One may wright this moment off as luck but prefer to think that maybe God allowed this moment to happen.

He asked me to come into his office for a brief moment. We chatted and I told him how thankful I was. I think doctors need to hear that more and more these days. He couldn't believe that I had such good bladder control because he was worried about the urinary reconstruction he had to do during the operation. It is a good thing I didn't know about this! As I was leaving his office, I turned around to say a final good-bye and I seen him "snatch" one of the bags of Life Savers from his assistance desk. It was then, at that moment, I knew how much a thank you was worth.

I did the same thing when I went to see Dr. R for my official appointment to receive my PSA score. This man from Columbia will always be part of my life. He was so busy in the Urology Clinic. I told him this was my last visit before my move to Saskatchewan and I wanted to thank him. I gave him his card and his Life Savers. I told him I could hug him for all he has done; he smiled but didn't hug. I don't think it was his style but the smile told me he knew how grateful I was.

I was glad I said my thank-yous yesterday, because today, I want to say thank-you to the "Power that is Greater than My Self". I believe this is God as I understand Him or Her. This Power has done wonders for me in 2007 and in years past. I have received the gifts of Courage and Acceptance. I sometimes get confused on what God can really give me. He will not give me health, wealth and happiness but He will provide the "internal" tools needed to deal with life on life's terms.

Today is my 17th sobriety birthday. I believe I have blessed to receive some of these tools since November 9th, 1990. I am grateful.

I woke up early today ...

I woke up early today with Cookie Monster on my chest purring as if to say that I was a lucky man. It seemed I was actually in tune with this friend of mine.

Today, I am going to see Dr. R, the Urologist, for probably the final time in my life. I am also going to get the results of my latest PSA blood work. I am hoping he will tell me the PSA reading is undetectable! This would be great news as it would indicate there are no prostate cells (cancerous or not) that are producing the PSA (Prostate-specific antigen (PSA) is a protein produced by the cells of the prostate gland. The PSA test measures the level of PSA in the blood).

No matter what teh reading is, I feel very blessed in 2007. I have received wonderful support and prayers from so many people. This is the greatest gift. I am now ready to turn another chapter of my life. Both "A" and I are getting very excited to start our move back to Regina beginning next week.

I will post the PSA reading tomorrow as November 9th is a special day for me. More tomorrow.

I think the Doctor was RIGHT !

During my last visit to Dr. H he indicated that radiation therapy has a cumulative effect on the body and the worst of the side effects occur after the treatment ends. He may have a point. Today I am feeling the worst I have in months. I feel nausea and quite tired! I hope this is something other than radiation. If not, it will be a long trip back to Saskatchewan.

"A" and I are getting into the moving mindset. A week from tomorrow the packers are going to be at the house and in 8 days we will begin our journey back to Regina. I can't wait to see those grand kids!

Thursday is another big day ... this will be my last meeting with Dr. R, the Urologist who did my operation. I had to give blood for a PSA test a day before my birthday. I am hoping the results will be non-detectable". I need big flat "goose eggs" for the next 2 years. I If I am lucky to get these scores, this will mean the "prostate monster" is "most likely" gone!

I will keep you posted.

27 Years Ago Today ...

I was working in Saskatoon for the week. "A" was just about ready to have our second baby and she wanted to go to Smuggler's Restaurant before she gave birth. We also wanted to have our new baby in the Saskatoon, the same place were his sister was born. It was a stormy day in the Saskatoon and Prince Albert area. I was doing a cathodic protection survey in Prince Albert on November 4th and I got caught in a snow storm driving back to Saskatoon. The car actually died and my co-worker (Ray D.) and I had to catch a ride into Saskatoon.

When I arrived at the motel, I called the hospital wanting to see how my "A" was doing. She got on the line and told me our son was born. I was surprise, happy and proud.

To celebrate, I bought and smuggled a Big Mac into the maternity ward for "A". Somewhere we have the picture of this special moment.

Happy Birthday Harvey Son!

Badge of Honour

I thought this Badge would be an appropriate document to post. Simple, clear and a reminder of my journey so far. For me, the color of the badge says it all. I had to wear it every day during my radiation therapy.















I hope I can look at this badge 20 years from now and remember the gratitude I had for all the prayers, support and encouragement I received from friends, family and members of my 12 step extended family. Without their support, the journey in 2007 would have been very difficult. Thank you God for these gifts.

The Last One!

Today at 9:15 am I will have completed my last of 33 radiation treatments! This another bittersweet ending as there is comfort in routine. I like comfort and I like routine. For the past 7 weeks, I have been getting up earlier in the morning and going to see the fine people at the Nova Scotia Cancer Clinic, Dixon Center. They have been wonderful people.

I will say goodbye to these folks today with an idea that was recommended by a friend in Regina. He also finished his radiation treatment this past September. I will say goodbye to all the great radiologists at the Dixon Center by giving them an appropriate gift ... a bag of Lifesavers! This seems appropriate. Thank you Wayne for this great idea.

I also met with the Radiation Oncologist yesterday; the good Doctor H. I asked him if there was one thing I could do to ensure future success against the monster ... "Remember Harvey, you just completed an aggressive cancer treatment program; you had surgery and now just completed a radiation program. Don't expect to be on "top of you game' in the next few months. It will take a year to get back to your original energy state".

These will be great words to remember.

I am so thankful for the great Radiology Team at the Dixon Center of the Nova Scotia Cancer Clinic.