Boy is it COLD!

Today it was minus 35oC. If I factored in the windchill it was minus 45oC. In Halifax it was PLUS 8oC. Why did I move? And I am not the only one asking this question; so is my good friend Max.

Well it is good to be home with other native prairie stubble jumpers and it is a DRY cold.

It better warm up.

Gido

Another Grateful Goose Egg!

Went to the doctor yesterday AM. My PSA was <0.1 and this means the prostate specific antigen (PSA) could not be detected. That certainly was the news I wanted to hear! Chest and lower x-rays also showed no abnormal findings. Clear sailing for the next 3 months until my next blood test.

In November my PSA reading was <0.04 and it was a good thing my Nova Scotia doctors warned me that different labs may have different testing equipment. The lower thresholds could be different depending upon the equipment that was being used. The "key" they told me was to look for the "<" (less than) sign. This meant the test equipment could not detect the PSA. If I did not know this simple fact, I could have been sweating bullets!

So once again my fear(s) had no grounding. Being scared of the blood tests results were all in my head. So many times, my imaginary fears get the best of me. This is why I know it is better to move forward, get the facts and then deal with reality.

Thank you to all those who sent me their best wishes. I owe you!

I made the appointment ...

I see my Regina Doctor on Friday AM. For some reason, I fell am more nervous than I should be.

More details on Friday afternoon.

Gido

Not Wasting Days Anymore ...

It has been a year since my first visit in January 2007 with Dr. B in Halifax. I was then asked back to complete a biopsy. That day was February 26 and I remember the day well for special reasons. A couple weeks after that I received the news that I had prostate problems.

Why do I bring this up? Well because one the greatest things I have learnt is to start enjoying every day. Maybe that is called an awakening or a most likely a mid-life crisis? Not sure which one, but I know I don't want to "burn" any days anymore. In the past there were some days that I wished would end because of some reason or another. It could have been a hang-over, a tough job situation or because I was working on a home project that was taking too long for some reason. Since March of last year, I am trying not to do that anymore. To no surprise, I have found that there is one constant in my life; time. Time moves at a predictable pace; it never stops, speeds up or slows down. When I thought I was going to die last year because of the monster, I thought my days were numbered to the end of the year. This was absolutely terrifying and wonderful at the same time. I enjoyed every walk with Max, every Sunday supper and every nap.

Now that I am back working and Christmas 2007 has passed, I am watchful that I am not falling into the trap of workaholism. My "A" has warned me a couple of times this past week and I better pay attention. I don't want to lose focus. Work is important but so is enjoying quiet time, my meetings, coffee time and snoozing with my cats and Max. Gees I hope I remember this ... I probably will.

Scared to see the Doctor?

Now that I am in Regina, I think I am in a state of denial. The reason I say that is for the following reason. Last week I went to see my old family doctor to get reacquainted and also discuss my follow-up strategy. He gave me a requisition to get blood work completed and get more x-rays. I went and the tests are complete but I am reluctant to call am make my follow-up appointment! I don't want to know the results ... I am fearful that I may hear something I don't want to hear. Oh well, I will make the call today.

Yesterday I went to a 15 year birthday for a friend of mine. The meeting was a 7:00 AM in Regina and it is one of the regular meetings I attended before I moved to Nova Scotia. What a good meeting yesterday. I was so honoured to be at this meeting. There were only about 12 people present and most of these folks were with me when I joined the program. It was a neat feeling to be with people who know me so well. It is a brotherhood/sisterhood that is second to none. I am so lucky.

It was after my meeting that I realized I was scared to see the doctor. I am amazed how much I learn from these meeting. Thank you God!

Settling In

Well it has been the first full week back to work. People are asking how it is and I can only use one word to describe what I am feeling --- COMFORTABLE.

I am missing Nova Scotia charms and the people I have met but life in Regina is beginning to take on some routine and I am grateful for that. I am going to my old meetings and re-engaging with the people that helped me through many tough times in the past. At work, the folks are wonderful and the "pace and pressure" can be considered normal compared to my work addicted life in NS. But I do miss the "rush" of building things.

This past week and old friend and previous Boss and his wife came to see "A" and I. It was a very nice surprise. Mike and Beth haven't changed and are wonderful folks. Mike was one of the best bosses and mentors I ever had. He took me through a very tough period in my past and he was one of those guys who was tough but very fair. I think we worked well together in Alberta. I thanked him for all that he did for me on Friday night! That was nice and felt good.

Well I am off to my Sunday meeting. My friend Chloe is rubbing her nose on my hands and keyboard trying to remind me that sobriety is the number one issue in my life.

Gido

It Feels Like The House is Coming Down!

Oh my God she said. I think they are destroying the house. It is OK "A", they just have the chimney roof off. It is not too serious. It is the price you must pay to get a natural gas fireplace. I sure hope these guys know what they are doing. So do I says I. We will see in a couple of days.

What is this all about? Well we decided to get rid of our downstairs wood stove and install a energy efficient natural gas fireplace. It should be nice if all this works.

The procedure is similar to a prostatectomy. Cut the subject open and remove the old piece of equipment. There is one slight difference though. There is a lot of grunting and "oh-nos" flying around today. I sure hope Dr. B and Dr. R weren't whispering a few "f" works when I was a sleep. But who knows ... maybe there were and maybe that is why everything turned out OK.

Can't wait to get warm in front of a natural gas fireplace again.

Also ... one of our last ties with Nova Scotia has come to an end today. We officially will be getting a purchase offer for our home at 40 Lakeview Ave. Closing date will be the end of the month. I guess when "A" and I move back, we will have to get a house in Clam Harbour?

Gido

First Week Back

Well I survived the first week back to work! However I was lucky because it was only a 3 day week. I am lucky because I am familiar with the work surroundings and office so everything feels like home.

I am amazed how easy it is to get into an old routine. It seems like I never left Regina and it has been 4 1/2 years! Nova Scotia seems like a dream and it was a dream for me. A good one.

This past week I also went to see me old family doctor and he immediately had me go and do some blood work and take some chest and stomach x-rays. Next week I will complete a baseline physical ... again. Although I am tired of being poked and prodded all over again, I know this is the best for me. I am most anxious to get the PSA results; if all is well, the reading will be "non-detectable" or <0.04.

When I was taking my x-rays, I had a great technician who actually showed me my x-rays. He was able to show me my lungs, intestines, heart and bladder. I was able to see all the surgical staples that were left behind from my prostatectomy. My gosh there were a lot. I am surprised the alarms don't go off when I go through security at the airport.

That's about it for now. Happy New Year.

Happy Birthday Aaliyah!

It was a year ago today when I received a phone call from my son. He was the father of a new baby girl and he was so excited. I told him I was proud of him and that he was a good father for he was present at his daughter's birth. He said he was trying to be a good dad and I told him that was all he could do.

Aaliyah, you probably won't remember this day, but I can tell you that it is a nice warm day in Regina and your Gido is going to work. This is day two for me. Day one at head office was a great one. The people were I work are first class and made me feel very much at home. Enough about me.

I hope you have a great day. I am sure there will be pictures of this day.

I love you very much,

Your Gido

Day ONE of 2008 ... My priorities

Well ... well what?

That was an expression I heard a while ago and I think it was at a Roundup in Regina in the early 1990's when I first entered sobriety. This was said by a person who had many years of sobriety and from what I could see in him ... the years were of contented sobriety.

Here is what I gathered from this statement: things do happen to me and to you. Some bad and some good. For the most part, on my balance sheet, my life's experiences have been positive. This is certainly true since I decided to do some very simple things.

The first simple thing I did was get sober. Drinking was and still is my primary problem. It is my first priority today and every day. Everything else, including cancer, is second. This is the "well and the well what". I know what is my primary problem is (the well) and I know what my primary solution is (the well what). This makes me a very lucky guy ... it really does.

Now this doesn't mean I don't have other goals and priorities. Every New Year's Day, I sit down with "A" and try and come up with at least 3 goals for the year. Here are mine for 2008.

1. Ask for sobriety every morning ... on my knees and say the Step 3 Prayer. At the end of the day ... thank the Big Guy if I stayed sober;
2. Go to at least 3 meetings a week;
3. Get my PSA checked at least 4 times in 2008;
4. Go someplace I never been ... Australia in October;
5. Finish the renovations in our ensuite bathroom;
6. Always (when I see them) tell Dustin, Demetrius and Boh how handsome they are and Aaliyah how beautiful she is;
7. Always, always kiss "A" before I leave work in the morning!

A Lucky 7 Resolution List ... I will see how many are completed at the end of 2008!

Happy New Year everyone ...

Gido

P.S. And for all my "boyfriends" out there ... please make at least one resolution in 2008 ... get your PSA checked!