Shut up or I will give you something to cry about!

It is 6:20 AM on May 10, 2007 and I am having coffee with my dear "A". I am telling her about my new pain(s) and she laughs "shut up or I will give you something to cry about". These are words of wisdom!

Yesterday was a day I was waiting for. It was 2 weeks to the day (and probably the hour) since my wonderful catheter was installed. The last couple of days with this invention were horrible; I mean horrible. I am not sure why, but the piping system was very uncomfortable and generated a fair amount of pain.

I went to my scheduled appointment with Dr. G. at 4:00 pm. We chatted a while and I get enough courage to ask him about the "hot spot" the bone x-ray scan found in the left sinus area of my face. I was scared to ask because I was afraid of the possible answer, however, he reassured me the additional CT Scan that was performed on my head area provided negative results. That is, the monster did not spread to my head (or any other part of my body). Obviously I was relieved to hear this, however, the good Dr. G. indicated the June 11 meeting with my Urologist will provide more answers. The pathology report on my extracted prostate and the additional blood work (i.e. PSA test) will provide clarity of what will happen in the future.

We then got on to the real business; removal of the piping and collection system. I was not looking forward to this, however, my mind made a bigger deal out of this than it really was. The air from my internal bladder bag was removed and then my instructions were "On three cough". As simple as that ... no more catheter!

I brought something to wear (pad) to protect my clothing and I knew it would be different walking around without the plastic pipe tied to my thigh. But what surprised me most were the feelings that overwhelmed me as I walked to meet "A". As I was walked, I found I could not control anything ... I was powerless to stop anything from flowing. Even though my sweats did not reveal the "secret", I knew what was happening ... I started to cry. Not like a baby, just small tears like a 50 year old man. I am glad it was "A" who seen me and not anyone else.

Last evening and night was different. It certainly is more comfortable not having the catheter and I slept better. I did wake a couple of times to just "my surroundings" to make sure I didn't have "an accident". All was secure.

Now that I have crossed another hurdle, I am finding another obstacle ... I am experiencing some internal pain and pain around my "war wound" where the monster was removed. As I was telling "A" this, this morning, she reminded me of the saying "Shut up or I will give you something to cry about". How true ... I was starting to feel sorry for myself. Thanks for snapping me out of this "A".

You know what was the best part of last night? Cuddling with "A"!